“I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don’t think I’m a celebrity myself.” –Allan Carr
“I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don’t think I’m a celebrity myself, mainly because I’m not a celebrity.” – Jeff Brown
I’m not usually the kind of guy who does a lot of name dropping, but my wife and I recently hung out with Colin Hay after one of his concerts. If you’re wondering who Colin Hay is, (Who can it be now?) he’s the Scottish-Australian musician who first made his mark during the 1980’s as the lead singer of the Australian band Men at Work. He’s now touring as a solo artist and played at the Gallagher Bluedorn Performing Arts Center in Cedar Falls, Iowa, a few months ago.
Anyhow, Vickie and I hang out with Colin all the time now. Well, technically not all the time. It was just that one time, but we didn’t have to wait in line very long and I got to snap the neat picture at the top of this story. This experience of rubbing elbows with a famous person has given me confidence that my wife and I will soon be running in the most popular crowds.
Yeah, baby, I’m in with the in crowd and I go where the in crowd goes.
For instance, I once saw the weatherman from Channel Nine in the grocery store. Wow, I thought, that’s the weatherman from Channel Nine. I can’t believe this.
For some strange reason I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.
Oh my God, I kept repeating in my mind, I wonder if he signs autographs. Maybe he gives personal weather forecasts. This is so cool because that guy right over there is the WEATHERMAN FROM CHANNEL NINE.
Okay, I admit I can get a little star struck. I’d probably have a heart attack if I ever ran into the salesman from the late-night used car commercials. This is so cool because that guy right over there is going to get me a great deal on a ’94 Chevy and I’m pre-approved, GUARANTEED.
Last summer when I attended my first writer’s conference in Detroit with the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, I was really excited about seeing W. Bruce Cameron in person. I’d been a fan of his humor column for years and I really enjoyed his book Eight Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter.
Sure enough, when my wife and I pulled up in front of the hotel where the conference was being held, Bruce was standing out front talking to the concierge. “This is definitely the right place,” I exclaimed to Vickie, “because that guy right over there is W. BRUCE CAMERON. I wonder if he signs autographs. Maybe he gives personal weather forecasts. Wait a second, that doesn’t make sense!”
I finally got the nerve and opportunity to talk to him the next day. “I love your book!” I said, maybe a bit too eagerly. “I could relate because I was a father of a teenaged girl when I read it.”
He looked at me uncomfortably.
My mind raced. Jeff, think of something intelligent to say. Don’t blow this.
“And your humor column– I really like your column a lot.”
As I uttered those words, those seven little words– I really like your column a lot– my mind screamed out, No! I did not just say, “I really like your column a lot.” But, it was true.
To be perfectly clear, in case you weren’t paying attention, I said to the accomplished columnist and novelist W. Bruce Cameron when I met him, “I really like your column a lot.”
He continued to look at me uncomfortably.
As I mentioned earlier, I can get a little star struck.
The conversation dragged on a bit longer. I said to him that I hoped to maybe build a career of sorts writing columns.
Then he looked at me like I was crazy.
Bruce mentioned that it was getting harder for him to come up with column ideas because he’d written so many already. This is why it wasn’t a huge shock to me when I read earlier this year that he was discontinuing his column to devote more time to writing novels.
If I quit writing this little blog, I wonder what the headlines will say. Brown Discontinues Column to Pursue Career Mowing Yards.
I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be able to make a career out of writing columns. At this point in time, it doesn’t look very likely. One thing is for certain. If a total stranger ever comes up to me and says he really likes my column a lot, it will absolutely make my day.
Imagine this…
A few years from now a couple of women show up at my first book signing. One says to the other, “Oh my God, I can’t believe this. Do you see that guy sitting right over there signing books?”
“Yeah, that’s the weatherman from Channel Nine.”
“No, I think he mows my yard.”
W. Bruce Cameron’s humor column is still syndicated with Creators and can be found at: http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/humor.html